Crazy Ramblings on a Wednesday…
I’m just sitting hear listenting to a little Joni Mitchell – Circle Game to be exact…
I don’t know why today is the day that I am missing my brother…nothing is going on. The atmosphere at work is a little cloudy…I’m feeling moody…and Pete is in Chicago (admitidly driving back today, but still not here). It’s just one of those great down days.
Wish it was anything but. I can only handle sad and down once in a while….today is not one of those days. Trying to focus on the positive…but having a hard time with that today. I should have ovulated either yesterday or today, but what does that help – Pete aint here to hit the little bugger…so probably not going to get pg this month…Just getting tired of all this shit! It’s so silly. Wondering when my body will work (I know, when it’s supposed to)…getting sick of people who have no clue what this feels like trying to help…And tired of not being knocked up! Grr! I mean seriously, put Tab B into Slot A, move around a bit, and Wham, it should be happening. Well we’ve followed all the steps and all the directions and had quite a bit of Wham’s and still no baby growing. I held off on Sex because of the possiblities of pregnancy – Man, should have had a TON of sex – that would have mad me get pregnant! Sheesh!
Good news is that I’ve been catching up with some old friends. Some are welcome additions to my life, some I’m still feeling out whether I really want them having access to my life. Facebook and MySpace are nice in small doses and in small degree’s, but sometimes I don’t like people having access to that information…Yet, I am content to pour my thoughts out into cyberspace fo the world to read….Conundrum anyone?
Oh well, I supposed I should go back to pretending to work, and ignoring most of those that I work with because they are on my nerves right now…but not really wanting to. Online Backgammon anyone? Actually I am extremely bored right now. So bored to the point that my brain feels like it went to sleep about an hour ago. Any one want to meet me tonight for shots? I’ll pour the vodka, you bring the trashcan!
Confused, Bemused and a little sad.
So today I went for my 3 month appt with my gyno regarding the progesterone. We talked a lot about the next stop – Clomid. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it, but I’m getting pretty anxious abou this whole baby stuff, and a little frusterated that we aren’t doing what we should. So we decided that my next cycle we’re going to do Clomid, Estrogen and Progesterone. This will go on for no more than 6 cycles, and if this doesn’t work, it’s onto a fertility specialist.
I don’t know if I’m going to that next step (after the Clomid). I’m starting to wonder where you draw the line between helping your body to make up for small deformities and where your forcing the issue. Maybe we weren’t meant to have a child by natural means. Maybe we are meant to adopt. And that’s okay. Peter and I always said that we would adopt, but we (like everyone else) can be somewhat narccessistic about the whole baby train. We’ll see where the Clomid takes us…and make decisions after that…
Happy Friday (Couldn’t find a proper title)
Happy, Happy Happy Friday! I love Fridays! Pete has the day off today, to go to the airport and pick up his folks. Whoo! Susan and Thomas will be visiting us through Saturday, July 19th. It’ll be nice to see them. I’m not sure what all we have planned, but I know tonight when I get off of work, I will be heading to Trader Joe’s to pick up some Korean Short Ribs and Fried Rice for dinner. Pete can grill the ribs on the grill. They are fantastic! Yummm!
In other news…I had my first attack of emotionalness with the progesterone today. My boss thought I was mad at her, and came in and said something and I started crying. Seriously. Most of my side effect symptoms to the progesterone have been just extreme tiredness…but today the emotional end hit in. Which makes sense since it’s a hormoney and all. If this works, I will be the most annoying pregnant lady eva!
Uh….other than that…not much to say thus far. …Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!!!
TGIF – And Posting Again :)
Sorry Andy for not telling you all I was posting…I didn’t want to screw it up too soon! LOL
I met my new gyno doctor today…Dr. Roy. She was fantastic. My yearly isn’t scheduled until September, but you all know how I worry and with the whole not getting pregnant…figured probably a good idea to get this ball rolling! Pete came with me (and they did the whole work up – lucky Pete, his first Pap LOL). She was very intelligent and very understanding. Answered all my questions to the fullest, and let me/us know my/our options.
My BMI (Body Mass Index) is not causing our troubles with getting pregnant – let’s just get that out of the way first. Yea! She said – do I want you to eat healthy – YES. Do I want you to exercise regularly – Yes…but you aren’t training for a marathon. So that was nice to hear. I kept wondering if my weight was holding us back, but then I wasn’t sure what to do. I have been eating as healthy as I can (and organic when possible I would like to add). But I don’t exercise regularly…and that is something that I need to work on. Pete and I had starting biking, but then we’ve had this roll of CRAPPY weather that has really hindered us. So hopefully this weekend it can be back on the bike. So I was really happy to hear that for two reasons. One: she’s not a doctor that takes the easy way out and two: It just felt good to know that it wasn’t ALL my FAULT! Whoo!
She looked at my menstrual chart that I have been keeping since Dr. Harpole took my IUD out 2 years ago. I had recently (within the last 4 months) been doing an OTC ovulation testing kit, so it had that information. What she said that she noticed is that my Luteal phase is actually short. It should be 14 days, and it’s been running around 10-12. What she thinks maybe happening is that I am short of progesterone. There really isn’t a good test for your progesterone levels since they fluctuate so much every day, so they diagnose this clinically. She’s prescribed me progesterone (which is the natural hormone version). I am to take this the day I start ovulating and until my period starts again (or through the 1st trimester). I will do this for up to 6 cycles, and then we’ll meet again – but she did offer for me to feel free to make an appointment after 3 cycles if I need to talk again. I asked her for the next step after 6 months and she said that what they would do at that point is keep me on the progesterone, but also add Clomid. It looks like to her that I am ovulating, but that the clomid would not only help in the ovulation, but also in procuring a “good” egg. After 6 months of that, if we still weren’t pregnant, then it would be time to see a specialist.
I’m feeling very upbeat after this meeting. I cannot wait to conceive, and hopefully low progesterone levels were all that the problem was! (Keep your fingers crossed). Although I don’t know that Peter will be so excited about the PMS symptoms that come along with the progesterone….LOL
In other news: my mother went in on Thursday for full gasteric by-pass surgery. I’m still not sure what I think of this…but she is my mother, and I love her! More on this later, as I don’t know what else to say. She came out of sugery fine, was able to have her meds this morning and some broth and jello and that all held down fine. So it’s 21 days of liquids only then a couple of weeks of soft foods and then onto real foods. I hope this really works for her!!!
Rainy Days and Mondays…
Good New First:
Last Thursday my good friends Mr. and Mrs. Beef gave birth to their lovely son Angus! He’s a beautiful boy. I cannot wait to meet him, since I am the honorary Auntie (and the favorite one at that). They have had an interesting journey to say the least, and I am especially excited that it has ended with the birth of a beautiful boy. I hope to be joining them some day 
OK Bad News:
The Wings, lost last night. While this is not the end of the world at the moment, I am sad to report that they played like shit most of the time last night. (Yes, I actually watched some of the game…Shocking!). I had to stop watching when they went into overtime…I cannot stand over time …too stressful. But after 3 sudden death overtimes, they took a bow and lost by one 
They will be playing in Pittsburgh next and hopefully will win there – and then we get the Stanley Cup. Should they lose, then that will tie things up 3-3, and the 7th game here in Michigan will be extremely stressfull…Let’s all root for them to win!!! Go Wings!
In other news…heh…like my life is newsworthy…LOL:
Things on our own pregnancy journey are still journeying along. We started trying about 2 years ago. Last summer, we both had all of our testing done to check fertility…and all seems well. For the past couple of months (about 3 I think) i have been doing my ovulation test…Whee. And it seems normal to me. I have finally made an appointment with a Doctor here…so let’s hope we are still on track. I just want to touch base with her about fertility stuffage! I know, I know…it’ll happen, it’ll happen…
